3.21.2023 4pm self-reflection

3.21.2023 4pm self-reflection

dear diary,

huling lamay ni ate ina.. reminds me that life is short. si ate ina, napakabait.

yesterday, i cannot breath properly.. i have experience shortness of breath for some 1-2 months already but i just ignore it. but yesterday, i really cannot breath. i am panicking.. i am thinking like do i have a cancer? or COPD? but i am not a smoker.. but korek mga pinsan ko, acid reflux or GERD lang pala to.. i usually take 5-6 or more coffee per day. salamat sa google, napayapa ako.. but pacheckup parin ako.. i hate this feeling na hindi makahinga..

bayaran na naman ng ITR.. puro tax tax tax, then winawaldas lang ng gobyerno sa kung ano ano..

before ano ako, happy go lucky lang. i have no hate in my life. except for these terrorist NPA from UP, i dont hate anybody. Even the unpopular goverment people , i don hate them

but after ng nangyari sa akin sa BIR last december, at nawalan ako ng pera. nabroke ako... parang napuno ako ng hate sa katawan, suddenly i hate myself.

if you hate yourself, you become a changed man, you become bitter. you suddenly hate everybody. you hate the BIR, you hate the customs , you hate these goverment people, you hate all the people , mainitin ang ulo mo, or nagkukulong ka lang sa room, you even hate your ex-girlfriends na nanloko at nang -iwan sa yo, you even hate the cat in front of you dahil laging nanggugulo sa kusina at ng mga basura..... hahaha

pero tama si nanay, now is the time to stop all these drama. mas marami pang tao na me mas matindi pinagdadaanan sa yo, so you need to stop these drama & accept na wala ka ng pera & just move-on and just work hard again pra makaipon ulet

naiisip ko parin syempre si ate ina, si yayay kasi namatay like 92 or 94 yo, so medyo mataas sinet na standard ng lola ko, so ineexpect ko mga tyahin ko aabot din ng mga ganitong edad so medyo nabigla rin ako. Life is very short indeed

and then now just read in the news- idol LA Tenorio, the iron man of PBA has colon cancer level 3.. i hope he will recover from it.

my beach roadtrip to la union with myfriend berna refreshes my mind, that long drive "reset" your mind.

Now is the time to stop the hate, now is the time to stop the self-pity and bitterness.. now is the time to work..

Just Solder it! work work work...